PUNCHING PAST PATTERNS

Ardeshir Jeejeebhoy
Jul 16
2 min read

Updated: Jul 17

Take a closer look at any ordinary day, and you’ll see it’s stitched together by invisible threads—tiny loops, repeated moments, automatic choices we rarely stop to question. You wake up. Maybe before you even sit up, your hand reaches for the phone. You scroll through notifications, social feeds, yesterday’s noise. You tell yourself it’s just five minutes—but it’s already fifteen. Before your feet touch the ground, your mind is cluttered with everyone else’s world. You eat the same breakfast. Take the same route. Greet the same people with the same words. You dive into easy tasks—not because they’re important, but because they feel safe. You check your email. You avoid the one thing that actually matters. You promise you’ll get to it “after lunch.” Evenings offer more of the same. A quick dinner. A show you’ve already seen. A phone in your hand while your thoughts drift elsewhere.

You go to bed half-wired, half-exhausted, whispering, Tomorrow, I’ll do better.

Sound familiar?

Most of us don’t realise just how much of our life runs on autopilot.

These loops—what psychologists call cognitive ease—save us time and mental effort. Brushing your teeth. Tying your shoes. Locking the door. Not all patterns are bad. Some are essential. They help us function, they add rhythm to our days. They keep families, friendships moving, teams aligned. But when a pattern outlives its purpose—when it begins to stall your growth instead of supporting it—it quietly turns into a hidden anchor. And you often don’t notice the weight until you try to change direction.

In relationships we rehearse conversations instead of having real ones. In parenting, we default to scripts that used to work, but now only spark resistance. In friendships, we repeat gestures out of habit, even when our hearts are calling for more—or something different altogether. Days built on unconscious loops turn into weeks, then months that look the same. Then years pass. And we wonder: Why haven’t I moved? Why do I feel stuck?

The answer often isn’t lack of motivation. It’s the grip of routine.